Life has the tendency to come up with the unexpected just when everything is going well.
It often comes from somewhere least expected and the impact is truly destabilizing. I have to say to those who have never experienced it personally two things:
- you are very lucky
- just check you haven’t been the cause for others and remained oblivious to the havoc caused.
Now our problems begin when we start to focus on the impact and looking from there to prevention, “just so this will never happen again”.
Life happens and we don’t get to choose. Build a fortress but you still get hurt.
Pain comes with living today and we have to manage our lives or slide into a shell that really does greater damage.
Irrational Fear cripples
There are some really healthy fears, rational and they protect us. I have a rational fear of being driven by an intoxicated driver. I know the potential consequences of accidents are increased because the influence of alcohol, therefore that fear prevents me from driving when I have had a drink. Additionally I won’t get into a vehicle where someone else has had a drink. A rational fear of drinking.
However in relationships, the workplace and socially when we allow our irrational fears can cripple us and limit the pleasure we get from life. Also the pleasure we can give to others.
Not wanting to be hurt or feel the impact of another life changing event means we live by second guessing everything.
We allow potentially minor issues to create a massive chasm.
Self Limiting Beliefs
These become our self fulfilling tool. I think that other people will hurt me therefore I’ll be on my guard for every time they do. Of course people get things wrong! So do we and we ask others to make allowances for us. We want them to accept our apology or reparation. By living out our fears we limit the chance to restore good relations. We remain vulnerable.
Why? because we have given in to this idea that fear is protecting us on all levels, but rational fear is there to do that.
In life be prepared to be hurt, manipulated and humiliated but then decide to get back in the fray, enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes achieving against the odds and creating bounds with others that really stand the test of bad times. You can’t do that if you live in fear.